[Silence MODE…]

I’m making the biggest history today…for my self actually. I even didn’t realize it. Suddenly, it does happen…2 ½ year working, I’m never wear ‘baju kurung’ on Friday, usually I’m wearing blouse. Its actually my habit since study, coz normally, I didn’t have any class on Friday or maybe just have one class in the morning, so, usually, I’m wearing blouse or t-shirt on that day when I’m going to faculty. Its just happen like that..and become a habit.

Honestly, I’m not mentally normal today. That’s maybe the reason. I just pick up the next ‘baju kurung’ I should wear. (Well, I’m actually a systematic person, usually, I follow the sequence..). Suppose, I pick up the next blouse…or maybe, I forget today is Friday already.

Then, I deeply thinking…sometimes, people didn’t realize. They might do the unusual things when their mind is not feeling well…haha..it just happen to me. What can I say? ...nothing. Coz I already sit in front of my PC, wearing ‘baju kurung’ today. Lets bygone..be bygone. Its doesn’t matter, as long as I’m wearing the proper dress, right.

The problem is, what’s I’m thinking of right now…for this time being, there is no solution yet. Or maybe, got already, but I’m not sure whether the solution is the best or not…I keep thinking that in every second of time since last night. Surely, I can’t sleep well…++ I’m also dreaming an awful thing. Huh…terrible. It’s so troublesome. But the truth is there…I have to face it, whatever it is. I feel relieve a bit, coz I’m not do anything awful yet. Hope, it will never happen.. But, totally I’m not stable yet, I had just quarreled with someone..coz he did not call me back, telling me he can’t make it. He supposes to call me, so I can ask somebody else to do the job. Its totally urgent, cause I need to submit the document by today, I keep calling him since Monday, and he promise to make it. Just now, he told me, he got another job, that’s why he can’t make it…if that’s the reason, he should not promise me at the first place. He make me angry..totally. It is not my company, it’s your company. You should responsible…(it is another story from above…it just cause & effect relationship..hehe..).

Ok done..maybe, I need to be calm…its ok if I feel angry with the right person. It is totally not okay, if I suddenly angry with other person. But, surely, never mess up with me for this time being, cause, I’m not sure I can control my emotions…huhu…but, I have problem in determination of my anger…silence mode, it’s usually I’m doing. Or maybe crying….haha…that’s the best solution, right. ~

# May Allah Bless us….ujian itu kaffarah dosa. Jika itu takdirnya, kami redha…moga, kau kurniakan kami kekuatan untuk menghadapinya. Kerna, hanya Kau Yang Berkuasa atas segalanya.